Bella’s Birth Story

My birth was the most empowering thing I’ve ever done. I look back on it and am in awe of the process, of the calmness and peace in the birth space and how much closer my husband and I are because of that experience. I’m a midwife myself, and was so scared that I would have birth the same way many of the women I looked after had birthed, in some emergency situation, on my back with instruments or a c-section.

So I went on a journey to bring positivity and passion back into birthing. One of my colleagues recommended this course and I’m so grateful for it. I felt like it was the reminder I needed that women birth their own babies and most importantly that I was entitled to the birth I wanted. It set expectations for my non-medical husband without me having to teach him, my favourite quote from him ‘wait so you don’t birth on the bed?’. I listened to the hypno tracks often antenatally, and put affirmations around my bedroom in preparation for my labour. I went into labour spontaneously at 37+6 weeks, we didn’t get to the end of the course but we had enough knowledge to get through.

I went into hospital and laboured in the shower, it was peaceful despite the fact it took a long time. My midwife protected my birth space, she was a gentle presence and I’m forever thankful for her role in my birth story. I was able to breathe through my surges, there was a thought of reward during them, that I was working hard for my baby to come to me. As I transitioned to fully I screamed- a lot. I told my midwife that I had become one of those women and I was scared my colleagues could hear me and would judge me.

To that my midwife told me not to worry, that I could scream as much and as loud as I wanted. It was freeing to do so, to vocalise during the waves then rest. I birthed in the tiny bathroom to my worship music with dim lights, my husband to my side and sister in front of me. My midwife squeezed behind me and the second midwife at the door there but not needed. When he was out I was just amazed. It was over and my baby was there screaming. I looked over to my midwife holding him in awe, she passed him through my legs and I didn’t let go for hours. I was so thankful for this course despite not getting to finish it, I know my husband learnt a lot too. I thought I had failed having a been a loud labourer, thinking briefly that I wasn’t a hypnobirther or didn’t use the techniques properly but it was just my way of birthing, and letting my body do what it needed to do, to sing the ‘song of labour’.