Phoebe Rose born 5 February 2014

Hi Rose,

Well, things took an unexpected turn after my email to you on Monday- my fluid was too low at my lunchtime appointment, so my induction was scheduled for Tuesday night! We kept on with Operation Beat the
Induction Monday and Tuesday am anyway, as I was disappointed that I wouldn’t get to go into labour by myself.

I was admitted Tuesday night at 7pm, the plan was ” half dose gel insertion at 8, second dose at 2am, ARM at 8am..my body had different ideas! First half dose of gel went in at 8.50…had to be monitored for two hours as baby was too active for them to determine a baseline for her. Finally, we got to bed at 11.15pm. My contractions started at 11.30pm! So much for a good sleep to prepare for labour!

They were regular from the get-go ” 3-5 minutes apart. I let Brett sleep for an hour or so, as I had been having some contractions during the week, and I thought at least one of us could get the sleep incase it was going to fizzle out again. I put my earphones in and listened to the affirmations and the relaxation tracks, and just rested. At 12.45, the surges were getting a little more intense, and I needed Bretts’ support, so I woke him and we lay together snuggled up and he did some massages on my back. I drifted off to sleep a couple of times

I was pretty relaxed.

At 2.45 a midwife came to see how I was doing, and to monitor baby and check my blood sugar level (I had a very strict number to meet or insulin drip time sadly, I did not meet it from the start and the  drip was started). The midwife totally didn’t believe that I was contracting as nothing was showing on the monitors! The only reason I can see is that I was so relaxed??? I was examined and at 3cm, which was too far to insert another round of gel ” I was extremely happy about this, as I wanted as little intervention as possible.

Unfortunately, I still ended up on the fetal monitor and with the insulin drip due to my risk factors.

At 4, I asked for another examination as things were becoming really intense, and I lost it a bit! The first midwife said I was 9cm, but wanted to check with a colleague ” I WAS 4!! This was, in my mind, my first setback ” I understood the not finding out, but I was still harbouring the fear from my first labour that I would not progress. This news really set me back. But Brett bought me back down and put the rainbow mist track on (my favourite) and was leaning by my side whispering to me about my strength, meeting our baby, and how proud he was of me. We had some amazing moments of closeness, and he gave me the strength to push through.

I found the surges much more manageable standing or squatting, but it was difficult to be in this position due to the infusion and monitors. I went to the toilet at this point, and started to feel some intense downward pressure ” I started making a fair bit of noise, the midwife was a bit panicked that I was going to deliver baby right there on the loo!! Back off into the room we went and again, I began to lose focus, I was just so uncomfortable and restricted by the wiring :/ I began to demand drugs, any drugs, and told Brett I couldn’t do it!! I recognise now that this was probably me in transition? I demanded an exam, and told everyone in the room in no uncertain terms that I was not continuing! The surges were coming one on top of another at this stage, with next to no breaks, and I was breathing through them with great difficulty, clinging to Brett for dear life. Trying to get a break big enough to actually allow the midwife to touch me was challenging, and after about 20 minutes (at 5.35am, we eventually established that I was at 7cm. This. This was my eureka moment. I looked at the clock and actually thought ” I’ve got this. I’m DOING IT. I for some reason fathomed in my mind that if I could make it till 7am, I would be holding our baby, and I would have achieved what I set out to do. I felt like I could conquer the world at this point. I actually bellowed! Bellowed out that I would not be staying on this bed one second longer, and pulled the monitor off, the insulin infusion out, and got up onto my knees, using poor Brett as a leaning post.

Within fifteen minutes, I started to feel an intense downwards pressure, and bore down a little and there went my waters. I could hardly believe how fast things progressed from here, and another ten minutes or so, and I felt this incredible urge to push…..I didn’t actually believe the midwife when she told me the head was about to crown, so away I went. Ten minutes later, with a final surge, our beautiful little girl came out into the world

I cannot believe the pure rush of endorphins that I got from having birthed our daughter into the world! I didn’t get what I wanted through any aspect of my pregnancy or labour from the perspective of my health issues, and unfortunately, these interferences really restricted my choices. From being kept immobile for the second half of my labour, being mere feet away from the wonderful birthing pool that I desperately wanted to use for both of my births but couldn’t, and being induced in the first place despite my efforts, I ultimately got what I wanted….did what I needed to do…and brought our little one into the world (relatively) calmly!

I didn’t “breathe her down the birth path” I bellowed her down with some of my surges! I struggled to focus on every surge bringing me closer, I had two periods of ten, fifteen minutes, where my focus was severely lacking! But I don’t think I “failed” at Hypnobirthing. Do I have disappointments? Yes. Will I feature in a Hypnobirthing video anytime soon? No! Not unless they are prepared to bleep out my moments of sweary shouting that I hit during transition and crowning! But I did it. I achieved what I set out to do, and that is thanks to Hypnobirthing and the tools we were taught and used to get us through the experience.

love from Joanna, Brett, and Phoebe Rose

(7lb 2oz, 49cms, born at 6.29am 5th Feb 2014, she is just perfect!)