Arley Bae born 10 April 2012

Dear Melissa,

Hypnobirthing hypnobirth calmbirth antenatal course childbirth classes australia labour techniques breathing childbirthI just wanted to let you know that I did start my pre-labour when I sent you that email.  I felt so much calmer after hearing from you that day.  I may have been in full labour, who knows, but the midwives told me that I was sounding too calm because I could talk through my contractions so I definitely wasn’t in labour. My contractions then slowed down a bit ” this went on until I finally said to Luke “let’s go to the hospital” at 6pm.  Nothing much had changed in terms of the pain or the timing ” I still never reached the 5 min apart but knew that the baby was coming.When I got there they asked to do a check of the baby’s heartbeat and to see how far apart my contractions were.  We found out that the baby’s heartrate was elevated and it had to do with my being dehydrated so they wouldn’t let me leave until I was re-hydrated and his heart rate was normal. They put me on a drip and then asked to do an internal exam.  Both Luke and I were quite wary but figured we were at the hospital, i was hooked up with a drip and a monitor, we might as well see where we were at in terms of the baby.  When they did the check I was 4cm dilated and so when I got out of the bathroom Luke had all of my nice LED candles set up and the music playing and said we weren’t going anywhere since I was in active labour.

There were some issues with getting a monitor to sit on my belly.  At this time there was also a shift change of midwives, so I had a new one come in with a new monitor trying to get it to stay on my belly and it kept falling off.  At that point another midwife came in to look at the monitor as well, and at that minute Luke handed me a cracker (I hadn’t eaten all day and figured some food would help), I hadn’t finished chewing the cracker and the midwife put her hand on my shoulder and told me I shouldn’t eat it because I’d probably bring it all up.  This was in the middle of a contraction as I was leaning on the bed, and with that as she was walking out of the room, I vomited. Talk about how her words played on my mind! It was the weirdest thing because I wasn’t even feeling sick.

Anyhow, she told me to sit on the bed since my monitor kept slipping off my belly, and  within 2 min of sitting there waiting for our new midwife to come back in, my water broke.  Luke went to tell her and she said “great” ” I’m not sure that was the response I was looking for at the time but it kept me relaxed. This was at 8pm.  I went into the bathroom to get myself sorted and she said “keep the hot water on you it will help”, I wasn’t sure what she was talking about until I got into the shower and the back pain started ” my goodness was that some serious pressure!I was sure that the baby was going to come in the shower and was beginning to panic.  The new midwife told me not to fill the bath and that really made me upset because she didn’t think the baby was coming anytime soon (since only a short while before I was 4cm dilated).

The old midwife came in to say good-bye to me while I was in the shower and I asked her if she could fill it for me because I was going to have the baby in the shower if she didnt.  I think she did it to keep me calm (which I was, but just struggling with the back pain). I got into that tub as soon as it was full and the other mid-wife came in asking why I was in there -thinking it was going to prolong the birth.  She left the room and with that I felt this uncontrollable urge to push and my whole lower body felt like it was convulsing. I was so trying to do my sleep breathing but my pooh breathing was needed and I had to tell Luke that to go and get the midwife because I was feeling like I was ready to push (not breathe) this baby out.She casually came in thinking that I was just overreacting, and asked me to do another check while I was in the water.  Again, I didn’t want to but at that point I just said yes.  She stuck two fingers in and said “yep, there’s the head”.  So we started our birth breathing ” it was amazing!  At times it was as though I was in a trance ” I think I fell asleep a few times.  Luke was incredible and just kept me focused everytime he saw me lose a bit of control and started to push, he brought me back to focusing on my breathing and visualisations.

I couldn’t have done it without my husband there to guide me and keep me in the zone.  I heard him at one point tell the midwife not to tell me to push and that we had our own technique that we were using.  It really helped because when you have someone telling you something that is not what you expect, and you are in full labour your mind gets a bit confused, well mine did anyway.  I didn’t push but it was bothering me that she was telling me that and I couldn’t speak for myself.  I think it is so important to have your partner go through the training because they understand what their role is so much better and are really your voice through the whole process.  He was in control of everything and I never worried once.  I also didn’t scream, I certainly wasn’t quiet when my surges came (i was making some strange groans and was conscious of it!), but when there were no surges I was in a trance like state and at some points I was fast asleep in the water.
When Arley finally came out he swam out with his elbow on the side and apparently very quickly according to my husband.  The head was a slow process, but I think once he realised he was almost out he wanted to be out fast.  So unfortunately I tore a bit. So had to get some stitches.  But I didn’t feel any major discomfort and I healed within a few days without the need for any painkillers.
My beautiful little boy, Arley was born at 12:49am April 10th at 7lbs 7oz.
On a side note: If not for the hospital missing his jaundice we would have had a great start, but they didn’t do a blood test and unfortunately, it was extremely severe so we were re-admitted after going home which was terrible. Advice to other parents: if doctors suspect jaundice, make them do a blood test.  That needle is so easy compared to enduring the torture we went through with my little angel. It was a miss that could have been devastating.  No one realises how dangerous jaundice is, but trust me, it is, especially with levels as high as Arley’s was.
My little hypno baby was a trooper and is as healthy as can be now!
Thank you for helping us to have the birth experience that we didn’t know was possible.  I hear so many bad experiences or so many people with fear, and I tell them, “have a hypnobirth, it was amazing” and I think they look at me in disbelief.  At the time the money was a lot for us, especially since we had just bought a place, relocated to Coffs from Sydney, and then had to get to Brisbane after Christmas and pay for a hotel. But at the end of it all, it was worth every cent!!  We were completely prepared, knew exactly what to do and pretty much delivered the baby on our own, which was very empowering.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It was a fantastic class and we both had an incredible experience and gained so much knowledge from it.

Mala and Luke, Coffs Harbour 
In a trance during labour Getting Home Arley's 1st Birthday My Buddha Baby


We just celebrated his 1st birthday.  He is an amazing child and no one can believe that he is such a good baby.  I get compliments all the time, people asking if he’s always like this.  He’s a chilled out little boy, always smiling & laughing, and I tell everyone he’s my ‘buddha baby’.

Anyhow, after reading what I wrote, I realized that all of these things that happened before & during labour, we were totally prepared for having our baby after taking your course!
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