I feel incredibly blessed to have had the birth experience

Penny’s Birth Story

I am a solo mum by choice, and started seeking a birth program a few months into my pregnancy. As a solo mum, I knew it was important to find a program that would feel inclusive – so many programs have pictures and language emphasising (romantic, heterosexual) partners, and although I’d reached place of strength and joy in becoming a mother on my own, there was still a tenderness at the thought of being in a birth class surrounded by couples with an emphasis on the couple relationship.

I had a phenomenal doula, and I knew I could bring her for parts of a course, but couldn’t afford to pay her to come for an entire weekend.My yoga teacher recommended hypnobirthing to me, and I found two hypnobirthing practitioners in Hobart. I contacted them to ask if the course would be inclusive for solo mums, and both practitioners sent wonderful replies, emphasising that hypnobirthing was about me and my baby working together – and that they’d make sure that I felt comfortable. As a yoga teacher and practitioner, the emphasis of hypnobirthing on breath, relaxation, and meditation also appealed strongly to me.

I booked in for a course with Jess Rodwell, and ended up having the most beautiful experience. The other couple booked for my course in dropped out last minute, so Jess so generously offered me a private course at no extra cost, and my doula was able to come for the first whole day – so I had the immense joy of working through my birth vision, preferences, and the hypnobirthing tools with not one but two amazing, supportive, attuned women! I couldn’t have asked for more, and while I’d done a fair bit of reading and thinking about my birth preferences already, the course really helped me to solidify them, and have the chance to talk all my questions through. Watching the birth videos was also incredibly helpful – it was so amazing to see women labouring strongly and fiercely, but able to really relax between surges.

I worked with the meditations and affirmations for the rest of my pregnancy, listening to the meditations going to sleep almost every night (I’m still listening to some of them post-partum – they are so relaxing!).

I have vaginismus and an overactive pelvic floor, so one of my anxieties going into labour was that my body wouldn’t be able to soften and open. The tracks really helped me relax my pelvic floor, and by the time I was coming up to labour, I felt so much more confident that my body would be able to soften. That was healing in itself, and is something I’ll always carry with me.

I went into labour naturally – a day before I was due to be induced – with my waters breaking at 5 am. I just wanted to stay quiet for awhile, so I called my doula and went back to bed, with her sitting quietly by my side. I was GBS positive, so I then needed to go into the hospital for the rest of early labour, and we packed everything up, including a yantra (sacred symbol from the yoga tradition), a birth necklace from my mother blessing, flowers to symbolise my body opening, and other things to ground me, and remind me that I was held by a circle of love.

A close friend met my doula and I at hospital and we settled in. I just followed my instincts, doing loads of cat cow on my hands and knees, with my doula and friend supporting me with acupressure. My labour progressed steadily, which I was grateful for, especially as it meant I wasn’t pressured to augment my labour with syntocin (hospital policy for GBS positive women), but which I said no to, and wasn’t bothered again as my labour was progressing well.

After a couple of hours I got in the bath, and wanted to switch from music to the hypnobirthing affirmation tracks. They helped so much! I felt able to completely relax and soften, physically and mentally, between surges – the midwife said it looked like I meditated myself into active labour, and it did really feel like that! It definitely wasn’t all pretty – I was nauseous and threw up, and was reaching for my friend and my doula’s hands to squeeze every surge, and definitely needed the support. But the hypnobirthing tracks, plus the emotional support of two amazing women (and a midwife I really trusted) – helped keep me centred and able to focus on my breath, and on softening and letting my body and baby work together.

After a few hours I moved into transition and definitely had the ‘I can’t possibly’ do this moment – my body just felt like it was writhing, and I couldn’t relax nor find any position that felt good. The pain was building but I could also feel my baby wasn’t coming yet. I asked for gas, which was the one pain relief I’d decided I was open to trying, but it didn’t help, and after a few breaths I moved into pushing anyway – which I actually found easier because I was doing something active with the surges.

After pushing in the pool for awhile, I could tell my baby wasn’t moving down into the birth canal and I began to feel afraid. The midwife suggested I get out of the pool to change position, and my doula and friend helped me to the side of the bed, so I could stand and lean on the bed for support.

I did most of my pushing from there – I’ve never been so grateful for the strength of my legs, nor so in awe of the power of my body (and indeed all female bodies) – I had no idea my uterine muscles could be so strong.

I ended up pushing my baby out on my hands and knees after a short crowning period. And then there he was, my beautiful miracle baby. It took me two years and 6 IVF/IUI cycles – and a huge amount of emotional and physical healing work for my womb to conceive him – but my beautiful baby boy was finally here.

I feel incredibly blessed to have had the birth experience I had – and would wish all women the chance to labour feeling as held, supported and safe as I did. Although I did get the natural birth I had hoped for, I know that with the hypnobirthing tools, as well as my doula, close friend, and midwife, I would have helped me just as much if my birth had gone another pathway.

Thank you so much to Jess for your hypnobirthing guidance and support, and for your generosity in offering our private weekend!

As a final note – I’d urge all practitioners reading this to think about how to make solo mums feel welcome in birthing courses – it’s a big thing to do on your own, and although I’ve come to absolutely love being a solo mum, inclusive, supportive spaces mean so much on the journey.